My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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