I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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