I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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