boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
