Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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