Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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