i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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