"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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