Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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