At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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