I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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