lets start a swedish sibling band together
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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