p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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