she woke up with a sticky ear
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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