Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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