fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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