your thong is hanging out like whoa
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize