I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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