sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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