Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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