Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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