Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
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so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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