He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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