I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize