By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize