At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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