So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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