A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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