moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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