Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
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It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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