no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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