Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize