alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize