He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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