Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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