i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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