there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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