Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize