just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize