I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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