Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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