We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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