dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
as a side note pls kill me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize