omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize