Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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