Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
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Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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