I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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