i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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