She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize