Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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