true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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