I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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