Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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